[42]

Sometimes one needs to be distracted from "to do's" or worse:

http://www.indianchi...unny_quotes.htm
http://www.groucho-marx.com/
http://www.vaterunds...lisch/index.asp
http://www.baetzler....r_en.html#rcart

German: http://www.jwdt.com/~paysan/bush.html

There are millions more, I know.... Perhaps you have some favourite, too?

[inquiry]

StrongBad and other cartoons.. .see
http://www.homestarr....com/toons.html

It might help to know the characters... see
http://www.homestarr...haracters2.html for an introduction to the players... play the tapes of at least Strong Bad, Homestar runner, the cheat before delving too far into the toons. Also, watch for subtle humor like the VCR flashing 12:00 on this page.. and there are hidden things you can push on many screens to see extras (especially at the end of strong bad toons...if you mouse over a place and the pointer changes to a finger...that is clickable)....

[GeeGee]

This is one I like for those of us who are computer geeks.

http://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/0,...i534467,00.html

[Walddk]

This is not new (WP reveals it) but it has got to be the funniest story I have heard in a long time. It's a true story, and I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I
know why they record these conversations)!

"Ridge Hall, computer assistance; May I help you"?

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect".

"What sort of trouble"?

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away".

"Went away"?

"They disappeared".

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now"?

"Nothing".

"Nothing"?

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type".

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out"?

"How do I tell"?

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen"?

"What's a sea-prompt"?

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen"?

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type".

"Does your monitor have a power indicator"?

"What's a monitor"?

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a
little light that tells you when it's on"?

"I don't know".

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that"?

"Yes, I think so".

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
wall".

"Yes, it is".

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one"?

"No".

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
cable".

"Okay, here it is".

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer".

"I can't reach".

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is"?

"No".

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over"?

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark".

"Dark"?

"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
the window".

"Well, turn on the office light then".

"I can't".

"No? Why not"?

"Because there's a power failure".

"A power... A power failure? Aha, okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in"?

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet".

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from".

"Really? Is it that bad"?

"Yes, I'm afraid it is".

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them"?

"Tell them you're too #%^?/ stupid to own a computer"!!

[jikl]

For you computer types, especially the ones over 35 who will understand how much power you had back then.

http://www.theregist...o.uk/odds/bofh/

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard.html

Sean

[jikl]

http://www.darwinawards.com/

this one is good value also.

Sean

[sceptic]

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of
marriage, they find that they are unable to
communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the
lights because they can't see each other using sign
language.

After several nights of fumbling around and
misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a
solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on
some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you
want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my
left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex,
reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back
to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex
with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If
you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my
penis... fifty times!"

[MickyB]

An animation - Ultimate Showdown

and a mime to Natalie Imbruglia's Torn

[42]

MickyB, on Mar 15 2006, 04:15 PM, said:

An animation - Ultimate Showdown

and a mime to Natalie Imbruglia's Torn

[42]

What is "relative"?
When you stick your nose into my a**, then we both have a nose in the a** but I am in a relative better position.