barmar, on 2018-September-16, 21:01, said:
I don't drink, and never drank at any of my high school parties, but I still can't remember anything specific that did or didn't happen at them. Who remembers such specific details from 30-40 years later, unless it's especically traumatic, like being the victim of an assault?
For me it goes like this: I have scattered, very scattered, memories from when I was 4. I remember much more from when I was 10, but still pretty scattered. From my teen age years my memories are pretty substantial. An example with no trauma: I was reminiscing with my friend Roger about a road trip we took. I recalled it as being the summer after I bought a car in April of 1954. I was 14, you could do that then. He thought it was 1955. I recalled that we had seen The Caine Mutiny at a theater in Duluth. He agreed that we had. The movie was made in 1954. So we agreed we did this in '54. I remember quite a bit. Not everything, but quite a bit. I suppose the movie might have been a re-run, but I am pretty sure our trip was in '54.
barmar, on 2018-September-16, 21:07, said:
We had parties like this all the time when I was in high school in the 70's, in a middle-class Long Island suburb. There was usually a parent somewhere in the house, but not actively supervising.
"7 Minutes in Heaven" was a popular party game. It's certainly possible that some of the boys got overly aggressive when they were alone with the girl they were paired with. I wouldn't hold it against them now.
In my neighborhood it could not happen. The house that our house was on was 40' by 120', neighbors to the left, neighbors to the right, across the street, across the alley. I mentioned in a different context that the guy next door came over to talk to me about the language used by my friends as we worked on our cars in the back. I put up a sign saying "No foul language by order of neighbors" and I enforced this rule. When my grandmother died I was 16. We went to the funeral in the northern part of the state and then I took a train back on my own to get back to school while my parents did whatever legal things needed doing. An old lady neighbor later told my parents I and the guys had girls in the house. They asked, I said no, no girls, and the guys were only in to clean up. They believed me, and it was true. A drunken party with boys and girls would have been completely out of the question. What did these parents think was going to happen? Games can gt out of hand? No kidding.
barmar, on 2018-September-16, 21:01, said:
I'd respect Kavanaugh more if he just came clean and said something like "I was a stupid teenager, I was drunk, I got carried away, I'm really sorry." Or even "It's been 30 years, I don't remember everything I did when I got drunk at parties when I was a kid; if I did that, I'm sorry." Teenage boys do incredibly stupid things like this, that doesn't reflect their character 30 years later.
This is the part that I really would like to see discussed. It has long seemed obvious to me that there are a lot of good people out there who would never consider running for anything if their lives are going to be put under such intense scrutiny. We tend to think in black and white. To say that what he did when a drunk teen should not define his life is not the same as saying that it's not a problem. It's more like saying "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone". The story I told about me at 15 occurred in a gym class in school. The gym teacher set up a game: A waste basket at either end of the gym for scoring points, two teams, no rules except you had to "play the ball", and then he left the room. Looking back I figure he had a planned rendezvous with the school nurse. Or something. But a guy sets up a game like this for adolescent boys and then leaves the room? What the hell did he think would happen? The game got out of hand. Yeah.
We have to have standards and especially for a position such as Supreme Court Justice we must look very carefully. I very much wish I could believe the accusation is false, but I believe it is true. So the issue of how much responsibility a 53 year old has for what he did as a drunk teen is front and center. Some might find the answer, whether one way or the other, to be far clearer than I do.