[slothy]

Switch (n.)

What you want to do as a partner when yours leads the Ace of your singleton and then plays a trump.

[Feegle]

4th best

The partner you draw in a high stakes rubber game.

[slothy]

Escape (v.)

What one feels like doing after 2 hours of bridge with a lousy p.

[slothy]

Sponsor (n.)

1. Bridge player extraordinaire to whom one says 'Well Done, marvellous' for making his contract even though he made 3 tricks less than everyone else.
2. Wake up and smell the coffee

[slothy]

Zia (v.)

Warning: This word is not allowed in scrabble!

The cueing of a suit in which one has a poor holding that an opponent was never going to lead in the first place but is conveniently alerted to the fact that leading it may now be a good idea.

Coincidentally, the Zia is also the name of a tribe from Papua New Guinea where the probability of being the victim of such a cue-bid in one of their Congresses (for some odd reason they never seem to attract The Fantonis and Aukens of this world) is drastically reduced.

[slothy]

Half Table (n.)

1. An extra pair at a duplicate game.
2. The fractional population of your table after the curry you ate earlier that evening has digested itself in a way you found difficult to control ( your p is one of those unfortunate people who lost her sense of smell when due to a cosmetic surgical fiasco she 'cut off her nose to spite her face' )

[slothy]

Head-to-Head (adj.)

How you wish your opponents would come into contact with each other after they bid a 18% game.

[slothy]

2over1 (n.)

1. =2
2. See SAYC.
3. A system where responder playing in 1NT is always the optimal contract.
4. The nik of a man from Chicago (see Chicago - Bridge Movements) who is most beautiful with a black background. (eheheh)

[slothy]

GIB (acronym)

Double dummy analyser integrated into the BBO software which i will pay Fred Gitelman 200 BBO$ (payable 4 months hence) if he allowed me exclusive access to it as declarer and defender.

[slothy]

Non-simultaneous Guard Hedgehog Squeeze (n.)

(lol i didnt make this up Link)

A squeeze as rare, and as successful, as two hedgehogs mating doggy-fashion.

[slothy]

Waiting bid. (n.)

BBO dialect

What the 3 players at the table are doing whilst anticipating what the remaining player with a red dot is going to do.

[slothy]

Friends List (n.)

A list of acquaintances on BBO whose length is inversely proportional to the number of friends one has in real life.

[Aberlour10]

Canape

fast food in players survival kit for 120 board matches

[ochinko]

splinter (n.)

A remarkably successful way to arrive at part scores with 1:3 fits. The strongest feature of this technique is the paralyzing effect it has on your opps who invariably fail to double.

[mtvesuvius]

HB Alex!

One for you:

Birthday (n.)

A reminder that comes every year that you are closer to death than you were a year ago. Everybody is so happy about this, that they bring presents, making you look forward to getting closer to dying every year.

or on a better note:

Happy (v.)

A horrible disease that infects many people, making them able to laugh, and enjoy themselves.

[Winstonm]

Precision n.

A method of judging the bridge abilities of opponents when measured against the norm of self-perfection.

[psyck]

CHO (abbr.)

Center Hand Opponent (the person in-between LHO & RHO).

[psyck]

False Carding (v.)

1. What you keep attempting in vain hoping for opponents to notice & act on, but only one of them does (see CHO).
2. Your escape route in the post mortem for torturing partner into finding a misdefense.

[psyck]

Useful Space Principle (n.)

Taking 35 bids in an uncontested auction to reach a cold 7NT.

[psyck]

LOTT (abbr.)

A misnomer (calling a theory as a law) designed to multiply the total number of books sold – Law instead Of Theory Triples sales.