[mtvesuvius]

Conservative (adj.)

A term referring to a bidding style that often results in +260.

[Lobowolf]

"Hang" v.t.

A prophylactic technique used to dissuade partner from balancing on future hands.

[Lobowolf]

"Matchpoints"

A form of scoring wherein +170 may be good. c.f. "IMPs"

[mtvesuvius]

Divorce (v.)

What happens after you have played more than 4 sessions of bridge with your spouse.

[slothy]

Milton Point Count (n.)

The poetic justice that ensues from losing 1100 after opening 1NT with a A543 A65 A76 954 hand.

[slothy]

Zar (n.)

A word that would result in 12 points if placed on a Scrabble score-card yet results in -1100 if placed on a bridge score-card.

[mtvesuvius]

Distrubutional Points (n.)

The term you use to explain to the director how you opened your 4 count with 5♥ on the 1 level.

[slothy]

Law Of Total Tricks (n.)

A law of trick-taking ability whose verity is restricted to how many more tricks then you the opposition can make.

[mtvesuvius]

slothy, on Jun 12 2009, 05:31 PM, said:

Law Of Total Tricks (n.)

A law of trick-taking ability whose verity is restricted to how many tricks you and the opposition can make between you.

Alternate: A law that says if you add the total number of trumps for each side, and put two zeroes on the end of that number, will tell you the result if you compete one level higher.

[slothy]

Bath Coup (n.)

The after-effect of shouting 'Eureka!' when lying in the jacuzzi and realising you could have made the first 3NT you played in the afternoon session by ducking the KH lead whilst holding AJxx of H

[slothy]

The Law Of Restricted Choice (n.)

The law that determines the card you must play when you open 5S with a 10-1-1-1 distribution and your LHO leads a side suit.

[mtvesuvius]

Serious 3NT (n.)

A bid made when playing with your girlfriend, indicating that you are ready to take the next step.

[slothy]

Coup En Passant (n.)

One of those techniques you strive to execute when playing with a woman who you are trying to get into bed with so you can discuss your approach to the play of the hand in the bar afterwards after you have overheard her telling her best friend on her mobile during the interval that she will only date someone who can speak French with a sexy accent.

[mtvesuvius]

Trap Pass (n.)

A green card that when touched, explodes.

[slothy]

Last Train (n.)

The public transport leaving the station at 11:34pm that you would have caught to get back to your hotel 7 km from the bridge venue had you not made a bid on the last board that caused your partner to tank (see tank) for 13 mins which you had made at 11:12pm.

[mtvesuvius]

Alcatraz Coup (v.)

A technique where you lead a card to finesse from dummy, and revoke from hand, eventually allowing you to know the exactly location of a missing honor, and finesse it respectively. For a list of punishments, see: Execution Devices

[mtvesuvius]

Tank (v.)

The term for thinking for 15 minutes, and then leading from the wrong hand.

[mtvesuvius]

Crawling Pre-Empt (n.)

A term referring to bidding 2C, then 3C, 4C, 5C, 6C, and 7C as the opponents slowly exchange information inbetween.

[matmat]

Vulnerability

The condition in which any transgression makes you more susceptible to the wrath of your teammates.

[mtvesuvius]

Teammates (n.)

People who you choose to play with you, but may soon create a mutany when they see your scorecard.