[mtvesuvius]

Expert (adj.)

Someone who believes he is better than his partner, teammates, opponents, and god.

[slothy]

Double Squeeze (n.)


What you imagine yourself doing to two prominent organs staring you in the face after you discover your partner cancelled your last month's bridge game because she had to stay overnight in hospital for breast augmentation surgery.

[slothy]

Double Fit (n)

The epileptic reaction of both your opponents when your partners rape alarm suddenly and mysteriously goes off.

[mtvesuvius]

Fit (n.)

What your partner will do if you put him in a Mini-Moysian or worse.

[mtvesuvius]

Yellow (adj.)

The color given to the special individuals who have been chosen to be pestered continuously by people wanting to know why their money was not refunded for a cancelled tournament.

[slothy]

Unassuming Cue Bid (n.)

A cue bid of an opponents suit you assume that your partner will bid over and never does.

[slothy]

Gambling 3NT (n.)

A bid made where there is a 100% probability of opponents playing in their only making 4-3 major suit game and partner being on lead with a void in your long minor.

[matmat]

Forcing Pass (n.)

A call, if also passed by the partner, usually forces partnership discord.

[mtvesuvius]

Trials (v.)

An event held to decide who will be paid to go to a foreign country and make enemies.

[mtvesuvius]

Murder (v.)

The result of not leading your ace against 7NT.

[mtvesuvius]

Kickback (n.)

A way of further complicating the ace asking process to the point where it pays just to punt slams.

[slothy]

Appeal (n.)

The heap of satsuma rind left under your opponent's chair after he needed a fructose boost on listening to the director reel off 6 laws from the Directors Handbook when he called him to the table following your partner's decision to bid over your 3 minute hesitation

[slothy]

Advance (v.)

The nonchalant requesting of your new female partner after the bridge game if she wants to come to your apartment and see your latest Mauritanian stamp you had acquired off EBay as your latest addition to your philately collection

[mtvesuvius]

Pakistan (n.)

A country which has produced some of the most entertaining bridge players ever, one of whom has invented "Paki Blackwood"

[mtvesuvius]

Paki Blackwood (n.)

A convention invented by Zia Mahmood to ask whether partner was a liar.

[aisha]

other: (n.)

A place to discuss all your private information hoping to get lots of invites to conversations other than bridge

[slothy]

mtvesuvius, on Jun 12 2009, 06:46 PM, said:

Kickback (n.)

A way of further complicating the ace asking process to the point where it pays just to punt slams.

Alternate Definition: The response one gets from alerting (see alert) your partner to a new-fangled bid you just added to your system by extending your foot so that it brutishly comes into contact with her shin.

[aisha]

pass( v.)

get with the program, i don't want to play.

[mtvesuvius]

Stop Card (n.)

A card reserved for use only when about to make a severe overbid.

[aisha]

multi (adj.)

Mormon