[y66]

Phone Therapy

by Ellen Bass

I was relief, once, for a doctor on vacation
and got a call from a man on a window sill.
This was New York, a dozen stories up.
He was going to kill himself, he said.
I said everything I could think of.
And when nothing worked, when the guy
was still determined to slide out that window
and smash his delicate skull
on the indifferent sidewalk, "Do you think,"
I asked, "you could just postpone it
until Monday, when Dr. Lewis gets back?"

The cord that connected us—strung
under the dirty streets, the pizza parlors, taxis,
women in sneakers carrying their high heels,
drunks lying in piss—that thick coiled wire
waited for the waves of sound.

In the silence I could feel the air slip
in and out of his lungs and the moment
when the motion reversed, like a goldfish
making the turn at the glass end of its tank.
I matched my breath to his, slid
into the water and swam with him.
"Okay," he agreed.

from Mules of Love. © BOA Editions, Ltd., 2002. Reprinted with permission at The Writer's Almanac.

[kenberg]

Perhaps oddly, I don't find the storyline particularly far-fetched. It's one of those human situations, many in number, where logic is not really applicable.

[semeai]

kenberg, on 2011-July-25, 05:52, said:

Perhaps oddly, I don't find the storyline particularly far-fetched. It's one of those human situations, many in number, where logic is not really applicable.

Similarly, it made me wonder whether this sort of thing, i.e. making the person care about you and helping you not fail at your job, is sometimes a possible technique or whether it's likely to make the person mad that you're making the discussion about you and not them. Does anyone have knowledge of or a reference to anything relevant?

[kenberg]

To my mind, it's not so much about caring as about irrationality. An example from my teenage years:

I was driving late at night when I noticed the gas tank was nearly empty. It was a fair distance to the nearest open station. Of course I headed straight toward it, but I also sped up so I could get there quickly before I ran out of gas!! Yes, I got hold of myself and realized the idiocy of this, but still my first thought was to pick up the speed.

A person about to commit suicide has clearly rearranged his priority list. But having calmly come to the conclusion that he will kill himself, it doesn't follow that he feels the need to do it immediately. If I decide to buy a new car, I may be willing to wait until salesman Joe gets back from vacation. If I decide to kill myself, I may be willing to wait for my therapist to get back from vacation.

This may sound weird to those of us with no such plans, but I can see how it might appear to be quite reasonable to the guy on the ledge.

[PassedOut]

kenberg, on 2011-July-25, 06:32, said:

I was driving late at night when I noticed the gas tank was nearly empty. It was a fair distance to the nearest open station. Of course I headed straight toward it, but I also sped up so I could get there quickly before I ran out of gas!!

Years ago whenever our family returned from a winter trip (we lived in northern Wisconsin by the shores of Lake Superior), my mom would turn the thermostat all the way up to urge the furnace to raise the temperature more quickly.

[semeai]

kenberg, on 2011-July-25, 06:32, said:

To my mind, it's not so much about caring as about irrationality.

Fair enough, our comments weren't that similar. What you're discussing is surely more related to a normal interpretation of the poem. I was just mentioning what it made me wonder about.

[kenberg]

Yes, and the thought you propose could well have practical consequence. Who says poetry is non-practical.

[luke warm]

kenberg, on 2011-July-25, 05:52, said:

Perhaps oddly, I don't find the storyline particularly far-fetched. It's one of those human situations, many in number, where logic is not really applicable.

and the more irrational one is, the less likely logic will play a part

[y66]

My wife worked at the local hot line for 10+ years. She said her goal in most conversations was to listen with compassion vs trying to propose a solution. Funny how she never does that with me.