[mycroft]

I have posted this before, but two months into my tournament bridge career, the (actually) LOLs against us bid, unopposed and unAlerted:

1♦-2♦
3♦-4♦
5♦-6♦

Cold, of course.

I'm sure I've had amusing auctions; I hope none have been this bad.

[Fluffy]

 mycroft, on 2016-October-13, 09:46, said:

I have posted this before, but two months into my tournament bridge career, the (actually) LOLs against us bid, unopposed and unAlerted:

1♦-2♦
3♦-4♦
5♦-6♦

Cold, of course.

I'm sure I've had amusing auctions; I hope none have been this bad.

I had one similar!, I open 2♥ weak and then the bidding procceds, with us silent, and long hessitations all over the way:

X-2♠
4♠-6♠
7♠-pass

Which was makeable, and not really complciated, but they went down.

[manudude03]

Just remembered one from my school days. Both sides playing natural stuff.

1C-(1D)-1H-(1S)
1NT-(2C)-AP

[antonylee]

I remember something like...

1♣-(P)-1♦-(P)
1N-(P) and as I push the tray (that was with screens) I think, yet another MP partscore...
... -P-(2♣[T/O])
X[don't lead a club]-(P)-P-(XX)
P-(2♦[you pick])-X-(XX)
P-(2♥)-P-(P)
X-(AP)

down a few, I think.

[Zelandakh]

 manudude03, on 2016-October-13, 16:53, said:

Just remembered one from my school days. Both sides playing natural stuff.

1C-(1D)-1H-(1S)
1NT-(2C)-AP

A perfectly normal auction in my strong club system is:

1♣ = 15+ bal/nat or 18+ any
... - 1♦ = any non-GF
1♥ = 18-20 any or 23+ bal
... - 1♠ = relay
1NT = 18-20 bal
... - 2♣ = Puppet Stayman
2♦ = no 5 card major
... - 2♥ = asks about spades and strength
2♠ = 4 spades
... - 2NT = nat invite

On early auctions, I can remember from university-time an awful lot of the type...
1♥ - (1♠) - 2♥ - (2♠); 3♥ - (3♠) - 4♥ - (4♠); 5♥ - (5♠) - X

And my first trip to an Aberdeen bridge club included the gem:

2♦ = Acol 2 in any suit or strong 3-suiter or very big balanced
... - 2♠ = any GF
2NT = strong 3-suiter
... - 3♣ = relay
3♥ = short hearts (yes the suit under is better but we were playing the simple systems version)
... - 7♦

After explanations, the thoroughly bewildered lady to my right led face up. Sadly she had forgotten the artificial opening so it was an OLOOT. I chose to spread my hand and the lead solved partner's only real issue for a 13th trick. Easy game!

[Tramticket]

Often the most amusing auctions include insufficient bids.

We had an auction that started: 2NT*, (2♥), 1♠ ...

After I opened the bidding with 2NT, LHO asked lots of questions and established that the bid showed a weak two-suiter in the minors. She had spent so long on the interrogation that she forgot that she now needed to bid at the three level. The director was called and he explained the various options to my partner. The director's explanation took some time as there were several interruptions and questions, but eventually partner decided that he would accept the bid as it would allow him to show his weak hand with a spade suit at an economical level. However, in his excitement at getting the chance to show spades cheaply he pulled out the 1♠ bid!

[manudude03]

 Zelandakh, on 2016-October-14, 03:58, said:

A perfectly normal auction in my strong club system is:

1♣ = 15+ bal/nat or 18+ any
... - 1♦ = any non-GF
1♥ = 18-20 any or 23+ bal
... - 1♠ = relay
1NT = 18-20 bal
... - 2♣ = Puppet Stayman
2♦ = no 5 card major
... - 2♥ = asks about spades and strength
2♠ = 4 spades
... - 2NT = nat invite

I can get auctions with that start in standard bidding too (well, up to 2C anyway), but the amusing part of this was the opponents co-operating.

[VixTD]

My partner and I were asked to stand in for a pair in a session of a teams competition at a neighbouring club. Playing against what I correctly judged to be a fairly inexperienced pair I picked up ♠KQ ♥A432 ♦K4 ♣AJ973. I doubled a weak no trump on my right and the auction proceeded (the way auctions sometimes do with inexperienced players):

1NT - X - 2♠ - P
2NT - X - 3♠ - X
3NT - X - AP

Every bid after the first double was made after tortured deliberation. I led ♣7 (4th highest) to partner's 10 and declarer's Q. Declarer set up dummy's spade suit and my ♦K was under dummy's AQ, so it was my last chance to get partner in to play a club through declarer's king. Partner was marked with 3-4 points, so I switched to ♥4 to partner's king. Partner returned a heart rather than a club and declarer made nine tricks instead of going three off.

I still wonder whether I should have played ace and another heart, but I thought that could have cost more if partner didn't have the king. My partner argued that I had led a low heart (showing strength in the suit) but a high club (denying strength). I thought she might have noticed that she couldn't see the heart 2 and 3, and that it's not normal to double 1NT and lead top of nothing. I felt our opponents deserved a tougher lesson for their bidding folly.

[mycroft]

A year ago or so, everyone playing natural(ish):

1♣-1NT-X-2♣!
P-P!-P

Only Making Spot (helped by knowing the club break, of course).

The thing is, 2♣ is " 'natural', 1+, to play unless doubled (and we don't know we have a fit), ALL OTHER CALLS natural and to play." Pass was, of course, "forced, says nothing about clubs." Yeah, we play systems on (including runout defence), even though 1NT overcall isn't weak.

Playing the same defence, red on white, many years ago:

1NT (11-14)-X-2♣!-P
P! - P

-400 for an average (field is 3NT= their way) on the 2-2. "I couldn't double or you'd find your fit" "yep, 2♥X is only 200."

[Fluffy]

I remember 2 hands from the tournament where I first met Frances, the one where Buratti-Lanzarotti were expelled. http://www.bridgebas...h__1#entry76464

Sadly the second hand is lost as happened to every old post with 2 hand diagrams when the database was moved and posts translated to new forum code, but I remember I had AQ9xxxx in spades and catched again partner with a good singleton (maybe the jack). The bidding was slightly different, it was something like 1♠-p-1NT-p-p-X-p-2♠, so I had spades behind this time

[jogs]

I love this hand from a club game. No one vul.

♠ Kxxxx ♥ Kxxxxx ♦ x ♣ x

I opened 1♠.

1♠ - X - 3♠

Pard had

♠ QJxx ♥ x ♦ Qxxx ♣ xxxx

1♠ - X - 3♠ - X
all pass

Hearts were 3-3 ace onsides. 3♠X=. Only lost 4 aces. Opponents were not pleased.

[Cyberyeti]

 antonylee, on 2016-October-11, 14:03, said:

Real auction from the day I bought Bill Jacobs' Fantunes book: 1♦-7N. (Responder had 23 and knew that I certainly had my 14HCP and was not fooling around, as it was the first time we were playing this system!) Claimed approximately 16 tricks, of course.

We had 3N-7N, responder had a 4441 with 3 AKs.

[spade7]

 Tramticket, on 2016-October-14, 05:55, said:

Often the most amusing auctions include insufficient bids.

We had an auction that started: 2NT*, (2♥), 1♠ ...

After I opened the bidding with 2NT, LHO asked lots of questions and established that the bid showed a weak two-suiter in the minors. She had spent so long on the interrogation that she forgot that she now needed to bid at the three level. The director was called and he explained the various options to my partner. The director's explanation took some time as there were several interruptions and questions, but eventually partner decided that he would accept the bid as it would allow him to show his weak hand with a spade suit at an economical level. However, in his excitement at getting the chance to show spades cheaply he pulled out the 1♠ bid!

I once had the auction:

1♦ (P) 1♥ (4♠)
4NT (2♠) 5♣ (P)
6♥

The responder to blackwood decided to accept the insufficient bid and just answer the number of keycards.

[Cyberyeti]

We had the rare case where you end the auction at the one level but don't declare, unopposed 1♠-1♦-1♥-1♠, 2 players at the table saw the first spade as a club.

[ggwhiz]

I opened 1♣ in 3rd chair, partner responded 1♠ and my vul passed hand rho bid 1nt.

I smashed that with my solid 19 count and dummy hit with a 3-3-3-4 yarb.

Declarer with a 4-3-3-3 10 count.... That was a sandwich notrump, you CANNOT PASS!!!!!

[Kaitlyn S]

 ggwhiz, on 2016-October-18, 07:37, said:

I opened 1♣ in 3rd chair, partner responded 1♠ and my vul passed hand bid 1nt.

I smashed that with my solid 19 count and dummy hit with a 3-3-3-4 yarb.

Declarer with a 3-4-3-3 10 count.... That was a sandwich notrump, you CANNOT PASS!!!!!

Declarer stated "You're such a chump.
Don't you know the Sandwich Notrump?"
Dummy retorted, smiling just a smidge
"Don't you know how to play bridge?"

[mycroft]

This is more an amusing TD story, but:

call to the table, auction has gone 1NT-p-1NT. What do we do? Well, you can accept it, otherwise... "Sure, I'll accept it."

Okay, continue the auction as if legal.

"Director, please!" Yes? "We passed it out. Who's declarer?"

The one who bid NT first, of course :-).

[mycroft]

We got invited by the club owner to their invitational game a month ago or so, so we went. We are clearly in the MP holdings that are "invited" to this game, but, well, you know.

At one table, the auction goes with me as dealer: 2♠-2♦-2♠-and righty is going to pull a card.

Okay, I'm not perfect. At about this point, I shrug and mutter "Okay". Everybody hears it, and righty looks at the auction again, and figures it out. "Wait, what's going on?" "Well, you could bid 2♦ again, see if it works a second time..."

We do in fact call the TD (as required, once attention has been drawn), with lefty still confused. TD comes, we explain, partner said "I decided to accept it - I'm allowed to, right?" "Yes, continue on." About this point, LHO finally says "Oh, it was *me* that made the insufficient bid!"

Yes, maybe we shouldn't be in this game too often...

[ggwhiz]

I can't resist posting 1 more retread cause it was the funniest thing I have EVER seen, bridge or not and it's not even an auction.

Partner opened 1♠, I raised to 2♠... float

Random club game and our opponents were a couple where he had obviously been beaking off at her and she had had enough. Upon arriving at the table, she (my lho) looked around the room, anywhere but at him.

Before the opening lead she detached 2 cards, put them face down and went back to surveying the room. He led, partner played from my dummy and she won with the top card and fired back the other one. Then she detached 2 more cards and put them face down on the table!

Partner won her switch, lost a finesse to her (top card), she fired back the other one and put 2 more cards face down!!

Play slowed to a crawl as she defended this thing for 2 in the glue like this double dummy right to the end. I'll NEVER forget the look of fear and loathing on my partners face (and her partners).

[Roby]

It might be just a joke from the days when Strong Pass systems were allowed. The bidding went:
Pass-(X)-Pass-Pass
Pass
Director!