[benellis58]

North would have been better off to double 5S, with an ace and four spades to the jack, but we still did okay, as only one pair beat us - a pair that doubled 5S and beat it THREE (!) when the GIBBO "declarer" completely butchered the play.

In fact, the board was played a total of 26 times, in four different contracts, and almost every time, a GIBBO robot butchered either the defence or the declarer play. Not exactly a surprise, since the GIBBO robots rot at everything bridge-related. Maybe they make good cheese sandwiches. Maybe they can do SOMETHING. But if so, it's certainly not ANYTHING related to bridge.

BTW, at my table (linked at the bottom here, as usual), the GIB definitions were pathetic, also as usual. Not exactly a surprise there either. I won't even bother criticizing the hopeless, inaccurate bridge stuff in the useless GIB definitions on this hand, but I will point out the useless, totally unnecessary, insulting, annoying introductory comments on some of the GIB bilge. To wit (beginnings only):

1H: "Major-suit opening".

1S: "One-level overcall".

2H: "Free major raise".

Seriously, now: Is ANY of that garbage necessary?

https://www.bridgeba...C3%7Cmc%7C10%7C

[benellis58]

No, Mr. East, don't even DREAM of leading your...SUIT.

And Mr. West, what a positively BRILLIANT move you made by OVERTAKING (!!!) East's club ten with your...KING.

So tell me, gentlemen, how did those two SUPER-intelligent decisions work out for you?

(What a sad, typical pair of GIBBO...I.D.I.O.T.S.!)

https://www.bridgeba...C9%7Cmc%7C12%7C

[benellis58]

Not as bad a lead as the one in post # 2282 immediately above, but not exactly a candidate for Best Lead of the Year either.

And note that even after the less than effective lead, Frick and Frack defended in such a lackadaisical, sloppy, and grossly inefficient way that I had no fear whatsoever of trying for MORE than the 9 top tricks I had after West's uninspired lead. Against anyone with an inkling of how to defend, I would have been a LOT less brave than I was against these two worthless GIBBO hacks.

https://www.bridgeba...SJ%7Cpc%7CSA%7C

[benellis58]

We missed the cold slam but luckily got a decent score anyway. The only reason I am posting the hand is to expose one more of the countless pathetic GIB definitions...which showcases how unworkable the illogical, antiquated, redundant, and hilarious GIBBO joke of a system is.

Over East's 2D opener, THIS is how a bid of FOUR diamonds would have been defined: "27+ HCP; forcing to 4NT". That's IT, that's ALL. For some reason, I guess ONE person in the universe thought that this would be a valuable use for a 4D call. ONE person...in the UNIVERSE. Quite a coincidence that that ONE person must have been the one who created the GIBBO system.

https://www.bridgeba...SJ%7Cmc%7C13%7C

[benellis58]

East plays a HEART at trick four! Even within the context of GIBBO's constant, unending stupidity, where we EXPECT robotic ignorance, this is AMAZING!

https://www.bridgeba...D8%7Cpc%7CDJ%7C

[benellis58]

How stupid are the GIBBO robots? Stupid enough to lead a DIAMOND on THIS auction:

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/5476jm73

[benellis58]

How stupid are the GIBBO robots? Stupid enough to bid 3H for absolutely NO reason, thereby turning the EW plus into a minus - one of the specialties of these sickeningly imbecilic GIBBO pieces of trash.

And note that although it worked out okay here, North...of COURSE...led the suit that an OPPONENT had opened.

Please send these incompetent jabronis on a rocket to Jupiter, hopefully with not enough fuel. And please replace them with robots who have at least a TINY clue about the game of bridge.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/ym7z4dfc

[benellis58]

I, South, deal and open 1C. Johnny Halfwit in the West doubles, North (my dimwitted GIBBO "partner") passes, and Donald J. Dumbo in the East...passes.

Gulp! I know that, as they say in The Bronx, "this AIN'T gonna be good."

Redouble by me SHOULD be to run, but I'm not going to risk that with a GIBBO "partner", so I run to 1D. The GIB definition is, as you would expect, so disgustingly ridiculous that it gives me a chuckle despite the dire straits that I know I am in: "4+ clubs; 11-21 HCP; 3-card clubs; biddable diamonds; 12-22 total points". Seriously? Someone somewhere actually went out of his way to write this utter nonsense? The first thing it says is that the call shows "four plus clubs". The third thing it says is that the bid shows "3-card clubs". Sure didn't take very long for the club length to SHRINK, did it?

Halfwit and my "partner" both pass, so I'm getting my hopes up, but unfortunately Dumbo doubles.

I check the GIB definition and discover that it's pathetic as usual: "5+ clubs; 4- hearts; 4- spades; 11+ HCP; biddable diamonds". Of COURSE it doesn't bother to answer the CENTRAL question: What KIND of double is it? But from the description ("biddable diamonds"), it SEEMS to be a penalty double. BTW, East...of COURSE...did NOT have the "11+ HCP" that GIB "promised".

In any case, if something walks like a duck and talks like a duck, there's a good chance that it's a...DUCK, and since this double walked and talked like a PENALTY double, I ran again...this time to 1H.

The GIB definition of my 1H brings gales of laughter, because it's the most hopeless of all on this hand: "5+ clubs; 5+ hearts; 11-21 HCP; 3-card clubs; biddable diamonds; 12-22 total points". So THIS time the first thing it says is that I have "FIVE (!) PLUS clubs" and the fourth thing it says...in the SAME definition is that I have "3-card clubs". Oh yeah, THAT'S consistent. Oh yeah, THAT'S intelligent. And apparently I have FIVE (!) hearts...but chose to open one CLUB, which is EITHER a suit with "5+ cards" OR a "3-card club suit". And then, AFTER opening the club suit with the SHIFTING length, I apparently NEXT bid one DIAMOND...despite having "FIVE PLUS HEARTS"! Again, SOMEONE...SOMEWHERE...actually WROTE this gibberish and presumably thought it was a PERFECT definition! I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm afraid I must opine that the definition's author is probably NOT on the short list for the next Nobel Prize in Literature!

I was VERY pleased to see that everyone...PASSED (yay!) and the final contact was 1H by me, South,...NOT doubled.

Had I luckily caught my "partner" with heart length?

No, not on your life: he had only TWO of them...which was hilarious. How had these East-West GIBBO jabronis FAILED to hit this? Well, I guess Johnny Halfwit was ASLEEP - surprisingly, because HE usually stays awake. He plays consistently horribly, but at least he doesn't usually nod off in the middle of a hand. That's DUMBO'S specialty!

Anyway, having escaped the axe, thanks to the drowsiness of the two EW twits, we had the pleasant surprise of getting a decent score on the board, as Halfwit missed the train and the ship sailed without Dumbo.

The Everly Brothers once released an album called "Two Yanks in England". Halfwit and Dumbo should release a video called "Two C.R.E.T.I.N.S. in Bizarro World".

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/87rz7fyb

[benellis58]

For a lark, I decide to canapé the South hand in fourth seat. I end up declaring THREE hearts in a FOUR-TWO fit, but that's no problem at ALL with GIBBO robots "defending".

To his credit, despite the fact that it happens to be ineffective, West actually makes a NORMAL lead of the jack of clubs. I win in dummy and lead a diamond. East pops his ace and returns a heart, which is definitely NOT best for his side. West wins his queen and very GENEROUSLY (and VERY STUPIDLY!) cashes hos diamond king (imbecile!) before playing another heart. This allows me to pull ALL enemy trumps, knock out the diamond queen, and claim nine tricks.

My constructive suggestion to all GIBBO robots: Give up bridge (forever!) and find another hobby. Maybe there is SOMETHING you could do without being a worldwide laughingstock.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8mz8y6

[benellis58]

On West's lead, my 3S contract is cold, but why is North bidding three CLUBS? It (sigh!) doesn't even match his own GIB definition...not that THAT is headline news for these nincompoops.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/252t789z

[benellis58]

This one is hilarious.

I misclicked, as we humans sometimes do. That's one advantage the robots, even robots as horrendous as the GIBBO ones, have over us, as, for all their faults, they never misclick.

Anyway, I clicked on 1NT instead of the 1H that I had meant to click. So I got a well-deserved bottom, right? The robots defended flawlessly and took the first NINE tricks (four spades, then five diamonds), right? They beat me THREE tricks in my lowly 1NT, thanks to my stupid misclick, right?

Well, uh, not exactly. You see, my poor, innocent partner, who had to watch my stupid misclick, was a GIBBO robot...but so were my opponents, and they didn't exactly defend perfectly.

To his credit, West made the NORMAL lead of the spade 3. Excellent start, Sir! East won his spade king. Bravo to you also, Sir!

But alas, even the greatest sometimes must fall, and that now happened to these two East-West GIANTS of the game, these two GIBBO bridge LEGENDS, for East, at trick two,...SWITCHED (!) to the NINE OF HEARTS (!!!)...from 94 doubleton!

I managed not to misclick again. I took my 10 top tricks in hearts and clubs...making three overtricks (!!!) and scoring 93.75 % on the board. The only NS pair that did better doubled a vulnerable East in 3S and beat it one trick, collecting plus 200.

Against me, Frick and Frack took a mere three tricks...when they COULD have taken the first NINE!

Lessons to be learned:

1. Don't misclick!
2. If you DO misclick, make sure it's against...GIBBO robots!
3. GIBBO robots...stink at "defence".

https://www.bridgeba...SQ%7Cpc%7CDQ%7C

[benellis58]

Does North, a GIBBO robot, lead a diamond, the suit his PARTNER opened, the suit that he himself supported at the three level, the suit that his PARTNER bid again at the four level?

Don't be silly. HE'S a GIBBO robot, so he would never even DREAM of leading his PARTNER'S suit. That's off limits! It's forbidden!

Okay, fair enough. After all, rules are rules. So I guess he instead made the lead staring him in the face, the queen of hearts from QJ8. Right? Right?

What's that? He didn't lead a heart either? He led the...TEN OF CLUBS (!)...for NO reason...from his worthless 102 doubleton?

You know, for YEARS people have been telling me that GIB/GIBBO robots are the worst opening leaders in the history of bridge. I'm beginning to think they might be right.

https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cpc%7CST%7C

[benellis58]

A typical really, REALLY stupid 4H call by West. I guess he felt that he MUST "rescue" his "partner" East from 4C, since he (West) had "only"...A1062 (!!!) in clubs, the suit that East had freely bid at the three level and REBID at the four level!

Has there EVER been even a SINGLE bridge player ANYWHERE who even came CLOSE to being as stupefyingly horrendous at any and all aspects of bridge as the repulsive, disgusting GIB/GIBBO robots?

https://www.bridgeba...CJ%7Cpc%7CCK%7C

[benellis58]

I don't know why North bid as he did, but that's not the story. The story is the truly wretched GIBBO "defence".

On many other auctions, a club lead by West would be normal, but even there the NORMAL lead would be the king, not the 7. But on THIS auction, where dummy is KNOWN to have at LEAST four clubs, why is West leading one? On THIS auction, I think the spade jack would be a standout as the opening lead (and that's looking ONLY at the West hand, and regardless of whether or not it would actually turn out best).

Anyway, East wins trick one and shifts to a spade, which makes sense. West plays the TEN...which DOESN'T make sense. Depending on partnership carding agreements, I could see a case being made for either the 7 or the jack, but the ONE card that I cannot see a reason for is...of COURSE...the one that the GIBBO robot played!

At trick three East IMMEDIATELY pops his ace of hearts, perhaps TERRIFIED that if he doesn't grab it RIGHT NOW he will never score it. Illogical? Certainly? Cowardly? Yes indeed. Mind-blowingly stupid? Of COURSE. After all, we are talking about a GIBBO robot. They ARE generous, though, so maybe he was trying to be a helpful opponent and prevent any possible misguess by declarer.

OR maybe he GRABBED the heart to get back to the CRUCIAL task of playing spades. Yeah, maybe THAT was his reason. Let's see.

At trick four he plays a second spade, right? No, of COURSE it's not right. HE'S a GIBBO robot, so right after popping and winning his heart ace, he immediately played...another HEART!

Here's a little strategy I use to predict what the GIBBO robots will play next. I think of the stupidest thing they could possibly do, and - presto (!) - that's my prediction. It's amazing how often the prediction turns out to be right.

https://www.bridgeba...DJ%7Cpc%7CSQ%7C

[benellis58]

After five tricks have been completed, not a single spade has been played by anyone. All 13 spades are still in the deck.

Dummy West has AQ875. Declarer East calls for the 5. North has KJ10643 and obviously knows that there are only two spades that he cannot see: the 9 and the 2, which are in the East and/or South hands.

North plays his...KING. He does NOT play his ten OR his jack. He plays his KING.

Yes, North IS a GIBBO robot.

https://www.bridgeba...SJ%7Cpc%7CC5%7C